"On the First Day of Christmas" etc . etc. (or I`ll Give you one-oh!)
"Don`t forget the Bunny Hunny" .. the words cascaded down the stairway .. bounced into view, and collided forcibly with the remains of what was Johns ear drum. Nancy had nearly chewed it off in her frenzy.
A sweat broke out on his face..he looked down to where the bead had dropped onto the floor. A bead from the necklace he had wrenched from Nancys neck as she raced out of the living room .. raced .. headlong upstairs to her bedroom, overcome with her desire for creature comfort.
"Christmas was a Happy? Time" .. she thought as she lay there, and dismissed it as soon as the words had coalesced in her minds eye and quickly became an image of wonderment as it did when she was a child.
"Nah .. It`s PANTS .. that`s what it is .. sheer BLOODY PANTS !!" ..(her favouite phrase). "Three days of hell rolled into one week"..she gazed dreamily downward onto the floor. On the carpet lay her Jeans, top and Bra. She looked into the mirror sideways .. "Hmmmm . not in bad shape for an old one .. you know, a few loose bits .. but what the hell !"
She thought she heard a stirring from downstairs .. "Where the Dickens is He?" .. she thought to herself .. …"Joooohhhhnnnny !! ..I`m waiting !".
The uttered words had had their effect, the strong desire in her voice was evident .. even at some 35 feet range. "This was the moment" thought John. He looked into his lap .. a lap that a few minutes ago had contained Nancy .. the delight of his life .. his inspiration .. his mentor .. his ..
"Hang on a minute, is this story for real ?, lets tell it like it really was.
It was Christmas Eve. kids were in bed .. all snuggled up and horribly excited .. Nancy and John were celebrating in true English style. Plastered as a new toilet wall they were .. cosying up together all cuddly like.
In the heat of the moment Nancy had rushed off upstairs with a view to satisfying her carnal desires .. wine always did that to her. Something to do with trampling feet, or the sound of squshiness…we will never be sure.
I digress …
The scene .. Nancy in all her Glory .. as nature intended .. pensive .. expectant. Downstairs:-John, nervous, expectant .. disappointed. Disappointed ? .. yes you heard right .. d-i-s-a-pointed with a capital "D"' Why ? .. well, it`s the male ego thing isn`t it? .. the cause of all world wars and things nasty like .. the very reason why men stand up to piss.
"Why do we need these crazy dildo things?" ..thought John. He looked down again into his lap. He had by now, taken to removing his own clothes , and found himself staring down intently at what he had to offer Nancy.
He though long and hard about it for a while, then glanced over to the fireplace. He took one pensive look at the pink shining object that took centre stage position next to the clock. .. The one from Aunt June that always reminded him of Blackpool and funny hats.
He snapped back into life when he heard Nancy call again .. " Don`t forget the Bunny Hunny " … he grudgingly picked it up on his way out of the room, glanced down at it again and muttered to himself as he climbed the stairs
"I haven`t got the heart or the Balls for this !!"
For Nympho Nancy … at Smart Computers in Whitchurch.
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