26 x 1 and 3/8ths, are you sure?, for a racing bike?, ………" Um, I think so, that`s what my mate reckons he`s got on his "…….".well, we`ve only got it in whitewall, will that be alright?, "…….." how much is it then?, four shillings and sixpence" ………" What!!!!…how much?."………." We can get it in Black for Three shillings and four pence if you prefer to order it"….. " No, The whitewall will be o.k. thanks, ……do you have any slim line mudguard flaps?, …you know …..the stiff plastic ones …..not the rubber ones."…

 

Typical banter at the bike shop at Lower Bristol road, remember Vic Anstey?, the old Birmingham bloke who spent his life in overalls, and sold every thing you needed to improve the speed of you push bike on those all important days when honour was at stake, and face had to be preserved, in what was fast becoming a weekly charade, the bike race from games at Combe Down, - along to Noads Corner at Odd Down , then no more pedalling starting from the Garage at Rush Hill.

 

Oh, Sorry, you were not there?, your usually good memory lets you down at this point as you struggle to get a grip on what I am talking about, does it?. ….." see you down the bottom if you make it!!!"….familiar and sickening cry given by Barry Cannell ? ( Ginger ) as he disappeared slowly from view down past the pub at Rush Hill, …Damn & Blast !!!… total waste of money that was !, -- knew it wouldn`t work ! ….all that crap about whitewall tyres and super fast mudguards….my old bone shaker was still clicking madly, in freewheel and was still as slow as it was last week….What the Hell was it that Barry had on his bike????.

 

Remember the knobbly brake blocks that were oh so trendy, and were endowed with specially qualities in the wet?… I must confess to ruining my mothers carving Knife on a regular pair of blocks once, tried to cut little grooves into the rubber, and then slice lines through to get little sticky up squares. ( Got the squares all right , only one slight little problem,…they all fell off when I put the brakes on hard! )… oh well, back to the drawing board…..

 

Physics, laws of etc, etc, …had we studied the material given to us by Mr, Harbour, and had we more importantly comprehended what it meant, we would have all been able to avoid this long and protracted torture every week in watching Barry disappear into the distance with regular monotony, little did we realise that it was not the friction and wind resistance that we had to overcome, but it was even more fundamental that that, it was " power to weight ratio"…..Why the hell didn`t our school teachers tell us about this earlier, we could have avoided endless hours of embarrassment and financial commitment had we known.!!!

 

Deralier gears were fitted to Sturmey Archer 3 speed units, in pursuit of the elusive power curve needed , you know, the ones that you could buy in two or three gear kits to fit onto your bike, with the cables that never worked, and chains that got all mangled up when you back pedalled?…… You just had to bend the rear forks a few inches and get a longer rear spindle to get the wheel back in, then spend another week with strained calf muscles because you couldn`t be bothered to change down a gear co`s it didn`t look cool?….right , so you`ve been there as well !!….

 

It was Barry Cannell who tried to fool us into thinking that success was achievable by removing the ball bearing from the ratchet in the 3 Speed box to make it silent, ( Worked on his bike, so why not on ours? ) - I need you to be totally honest her, how many of you tried it, only to destroy what was previously a working marvel of 60`s engineering and render you bike incapable of going up even the most moderate of slopes?

 

Until we catch sight of this person again, we shall never really know what secret force was at work there on those innocent days of pleasure riding home from games!!

 

Eat your heart out " Mad Max " Pearce.!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

" Pheeeeeep"….it was a shrill noise at first, that, as we disappeared one by one out of sight, was soon forgotten….automation took over in the Sixties, so we`re told……but not this day as luck would have it…this day was reserved for those occasions when you`re wrapped up warm , " just got out of the Bath " sort of time, when you Grandchildren have snuggled up close, waiting for their story of the night…

 

" We were only 12 years or so old ", said Grandad….you could see the sweat in his eyes as he spoke , quietly at first, then louder and louder as he got excited, he always did this,… you knew he was coming to a good bit soon….

 

" I didn`t have a Whistle , did I Grandad ?"…..Chloe had interrupted the story for a moment, unaware that the silence she had created was not welcome at this point……" No, Clo…You Didn`t."……" We were cold to start with "..he continued, " but soon we were really tired as well, the first few fields were the worst……had horses in them, and they used to kick up divots all over the place …the mole hills were bad, but least you could squash them easy, never came through your Plimsoll bottoms "……" What`s a Plimsoll ? " said Chloe…" A kind of running shoe, Chloe "….." like Trainers Grandad ? "……" Yes, Clo "….

 

Some had blue shorts on, …..others had blue legs, …..they all had one thing in common, a desire to end this weekly winter torture, ….you couldn`t avoid it , …..Baynes & Norris saw to that, …….there they were again by the gate past Fullers Earth Works….at least here you knew the going was easier now, all on the level for the next Mile or so….Mile or so !, Shit, another mile of this…oh, no!, no!….it`s raining , knew it was too good to be true….Shit !…

 

A crowd of shivering " skivers " lurking behind the wall near Midford Lane loped into view, fresh and alert, blended into the rest of the rabble that was the remains of 1P " out for a Jaunt " ( was what Jack Lysham called it ), " a short hop and back "…that was another of his favourites as well……Blisters upon blisters were the order of the day for us lads then…..still there were the Showers, …the Showers !…..antique buckets full of antique water, or so it felt and tasted like……quick rub down with the towel and we were good as new again……Lovely days, was sports days…..

 

" Didn`t you have a bike grandad ?"…." yes Clo, I had a bike but we had to run "……" Why Grandad, Why, if you had a bike?…."……" Just the way it was Chloe, School Lessons, just lessons "……"oh"…..

 

Age of innocence, …..lost forever now,………. lost in the pursuit of all things materialistic…..

 

Grandad remembered the best bit now, …the bit where Pearce used to chase the Bus, he`d nearly forgotten about the Bus…..11a , Glasshouse…terminus was outside the Café, where big mugs of tea were served for 3d….and lemonade, a big one, for 6d.. …..with 2d back on the bottle…..

 

The sweat was pouring over his eyes now as the Bike gathered pace down the hill, …grimly gripping the Handlebars, vibrations were being set up in the saddle, the brakes shuddered at the slightest touch….but he was winning….winning was all that counted …the sea of faces squashed against the glass, …..the necks craning to see just that little bit more were all focused on Mad Max Pearce as he hurtled past the single decker bus……Bell ringing triumphantly, he swerved !, a hush fell over the bus… he appeared again in front of us, and that`s how it stayed until we got to Bear Flat when at last the oxygen levels fell in his muscles, and he could pedal no more…….." what happened then Grandad ? ", asked Chloe,……" well nothing really Clo, we just waited `til next week to do it all again "……." Silly story", said Chloe…." What`s for tea then Granny ?"…. and off she went as usual at this time of day…..

 

Grandad lay back in the settee for a snooze, he was still there in 1960…..along with his old mates…when the Weymouth House was no more, …..it had gone to pastures new, …..all in the name of progress, and for what?….Just another " Woolies ! "……." Broooom, Broooom", went the Bus, as it revved up at the Railway Bridge near the new School building…..

 

It was all becoming a bit of a Haze now………  

 

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